Blank Pieces of Paper.

As I sit here trying to organize the millionth version of my manuscript outline, I make a interesting connection between my writing and my life.

When the going gets tough, the not-so-tough pulls out a blank sheet of paper and starts again.

Really. I keep re-writing not only my story on paper but also my story in person.

Let me explain. When a relationship gets really hard, or I am starting to feel a little too vulnerable, I scrap it. I say, “This is going to hurt. But it’s for the better.” I end it and start over.

When living somewhere for too long makes me itchy, I move. That pattern was decided for me in my upbringing. I use the excuse that I have no choice, except for the fact that I am a grown woman now and I do have a choice. But being where I am now for almost two years, I can’t wait to get the fuck out.

I had a bunny and I couldn’t bear to see him caged all day so I gave him away. Problem solved right?

I avoid lots of important topics in my therapy sessions because I would just rather we run out of time so that I can come back in the next week and… guessed it….START OVER!

And now I am rewriting my book, my memoir, my story, over and over and over and over thinking that “the next time will be better!”

This is also how I approached dieting for ten years. Even when I was twelve, every Monday meant a new chance to start over.

But it’s just running away, it’s not healthy.

The best thing for me to do is take what I have (on paper and in real life), and work with it. I have all the right things in front of me. If I can’t make a good memoir out of 232 pages of writing that’s already done, then I better quit writing and START OVER with a new career! (Kidding. Writing is the one lover I won’t ever leave.)

Alright, enough metaphors. This Frankenstein outline needs tending to!


About factorymaid

I am a 20-something living in Rural, USA. As an engineer for a worldwide famous consumer products company, I manage million-dollar projects in a manufacturing environment. I like to write about what it's like to be a woman in a factory of men. But there's a lot more to me than my career. I have a very storied past. Check out my "About Me" section and my blog posts to find out more! Enjoy! :)

Posted on February 5, 2013, in Work, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. “I like to write about what it’s like to be a woman in a factory of men”

    i’m a male in an office full of females. Its not fun.

  2. “When the going gets tough, the not-so-tough pulls out a blank sheet of paper and starts again.”

    That’s a great metaphor not just for the writing life, but life in general.

    I’ve just started reading your blog after you’ve found my via Freshly Pressed (thanks again, by the way), and I have to say you have a terrific voice that’s evident in your writing. Let that voice out. You’re doing some very good writing here!

    • Thank you so much! That means the world to me. Prior to this blog I have kept my writing pretty hidden from the world so I feel relieved and thankful to have praise come from it!
      Funny you commented as I was reading your latest post about Ishmael!

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