Letter to My Former Me


Okay, just to warn you — because I guess I owe you this — your life will change dramatically soon.

The issues with you and Sean? Well, they’re going to really get to you in a few months. You will ask him for some “time off” from the relationship. And you will hurt. Deeply. You will desire to talk to him and hold him and kiss him when you see him in the factory.But you won’t.

You also won’t look for any guy to replace him — because, really, no one can. You will lay in bed with a book, a water bottle, and your dog and you will be…content. Alone. For once.

You’ll take a trip to Chicago that not only underlines what is wrong with your relationship with Sean but will also point out how unsatisfied you are with your current life, your surroundings, and the path that has somehow been carved out for you — by someone else.

You’ll find an open doorway — a new position at a new factory — and it’ll lead you to Chicago. Alone. Single. Yet…thriving.

You have grown so much in the last two years.

You are confident now,  you stand taller. You are proud of yourself. You are beautiful — you always were, but you were always blindfolded from it by that pesky little Anorexia thing.

You don’t need a boyfriend to feel happy, you don’t need much really. There is a fire in you and you know you can make life happen for you, instead of letting it just play out in that boring black-and-white film reel.

You’re an engineer, you’re a writer, you’re creative, you’re talented. Took you years to learn these things about you, and sometimes you still question  yourself. But overall, you’ve come so far.

Hold your head up, girl. It’s only going  up from here.



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About factorymaid

I am a 20-something living in Rural, USA. As an engineer for a worldwide famous consumer products company, I manage million-dollar projects in a manufacturing environment. I like to write about what it's like to be a woman in a factory of men. But there's a lot more to me than my career. I have a very storied past. Check out my "About Me" section and my blog posts to find out more! Enjoy! :)

Posted on March 13, 2013, in Anorexia, Depression, Engineering, Family, fear, Love, Manufacturing, memories, Relationships, Therapy, Uncategorized, Work, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Lovely post. I am rooting for you ! Change is good.

  2. Nothing better than a good pat on the back, good for you.

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